Men as Christ’s Imitators: The Role of Husband and Father

6 minutes to read

I know an artist whose skill is truly exceptional. Give him any picture and he will paint it with remarkable precision. The result will leave you spellbound. Incomparably, God is a divine sculptor. He has a perfect image in His mind and desires to sculpt our character to resemble Him. That image is Christ Jesus. Every disciple of Christ is called by God to imitate and become Christlike in everything—yes, in everything.

To make it personal, as a disciple of Christ, I am called by God to imitate and become Christlike in all aspects of my life. Isn’t this the very purpose to which God predestined us? “For those whom he foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…” (Rom. 8:29)

But here's a striking reality: the most challenging place for many men to demonstrate Christlikeness is at home. You may be nodding your head with an affirmative "Yes." It’s hard to reflect Christ’s image to our wives and children. However, God desires every Christian man to live as a Christlike husband and father. He wants us to reflect Him in our family life.

Some may wonder, "Jesus was never married and never had biological children. How then can we imitate Him as a husband and father?" Following Christ is not about replicating His exact circumstances but about embracing and manifesting Christlike qualities and attitudes within the context of our own lives.

Here are some ways we can imitate Christ as a husband and father:

1. Live Like Christ
The first commission Christ gave to His disciples was, "Follow Me" (Matt. 4:19). The words "Follow Me" is a call to imitate, exhorting us to become like Him. Therefore, we are to live as Christ lived. "Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked" (1 Jo. 2:6). Martin Luther once remarked, “It is not Christ’s walking on the sea, but His ordinary walk, that we are called on to imitate”

Actions flow out of attitudes. Conduct emerges from character. External behaviours are a result of internal qualities. Crucially, we must understand that we cannot outwardly do what Christ did without inwardly becoming who He is. We cannot be good husbands and fathers if we are not, at our core, consistently pursuing and conforming to Christlikeness. It must permeate every aspect of our being.

Therefore:

Above all desires, Christlikeness must be our passion.
Beyond all petitions, Christlikeness must be our prayer.
More than anything, Christlikeness must be our pursuit.

The path to Christlikeness is fraught with challenges. We will encounter obstacles, setbacks, and moments of weakness. Despite these trials, we must press forward, learning from our failures and shortcomings, and relying on God's grace to transform us day by day.

2. Love Like Christ
We are called to imitate Christ and reflect His love to our wives and children (Eph. 5:25; 6:4). Christ's love is one of grace, and it is not based on external beauty, inherent goodness, or moral performance. He loves us unconditionally and relentlessly despite our sinfulness, weaknesses, and failures.

God desires every Christian man to live as a Christlike husband and father.

In marriage and parenting, we often face situations where our affection for our wives and children may fade away due to their disobedience, disrespect, or other offensive behaviours such as stubbornness, unkindness, and ingratitude. However, as followers of Christ, we must love our family with Christlike love, which is gracious love.

We are most Christlike:

when we show love to them in moments when they don’t deserve it.
when we choose to love them, especially when we feel most offended by them.
when we are patient with them.
when we empathise with them in their weaknesses.
when we forgive them and don’t remember their sins (Eph. 4:32).
when we courageously address their faults, yet with gentleness and understanding, seeking their change and growth.
when we sacrificially serve them, putting their needs above our own (Phi. 2:3-5).

This kind of love—patient, empathetic, forgiving, encouraging, and sacrificial—mirrors the grace that Christ extends to us.

A man must exercise his headship under the headship of Christ.

3. Lead Like Christ
We cannot think about Christ without considering His leadership aptitude. To be a man like Christ at home is to lead like Him. In Christlikeness, there is no room for passivity, irresponsibility, disengagement, complacency, negligence, or indifference. Moreover, in the image of Christ, there is no place for harshness, impatience, exploitation, manipulation, or abusive authority for self-gratification.

With Christ as our focus, men are called to lead their families by:

Teaching them with sound biblical reasoning.
Encouraging them with words of comfort.
Correcting them with gentleness.
Making wise decisions that prioritise the family's wellbeing.
Resolving conflicts with biblical wisdom.
Directing them to live according to God’s will.
Praying fervently for the spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional welfare of the family.

Above all, men must lead by example.
To clarify further, it is commonly understood that the man is the head of the family. However, the man's headship is not independent but he is under the headship of Christ. Just as the man is the head of his wife, so also Christ is the head of the man (1 Cor. 11:3). The man is bestowed with authority to function under The Authority. Many of the abuses perpetrated by men against women and children stem from a failure to recognise and submit to Christ's headship. A man must exercise his headship under the headship of Christ. His thoughts toward his family should mirror the mind of Christ. His communication with his family should reflect Christ's words. His conduct with his family should exemplify Christ's character. In essence, a man's headship over his wife and children mirrors the headship of Christ Himself. The man serves as Christ's representative to his family.

Final Words:
Reading these words might stir the apprehensive question, “Who is truly capable of leading one’s family like Christ?” Yet, Christ sacrificed Himself on the cross and rose from the dead to free us from sin's power because of our depravity and inability to be holy. He has given us His Holy Spirit to empower us towards Christlike living. He has given us the Holy Scriptures to provide, guide, and instruct us in His ways. He has given us His family, the church, to nurture our growth towards Christlikeness.

As men, we possess all the spiritual capacity to imitate Christ in our family roles (2 Pet. 1:3). We aren’t perfect, but we must progress toward Christlikeness. Let us move forward and lead with courage and confidence in God’s empowering grace.